Wow... Never say never because damn I'm back on xanga.  Pleasant surprise I guess though.  I still have like 4 friends who actually use this thing so that's interesting... AND I have a shit load to rant about so here it goes.

First of all... wtf xanga?  I mean I know I haven't been on in a while, but why the hell are you so damn confusing to edit now?  I thought you were complex back in the day, but shit you really got me this time.

And did anyone read my previous blogs???  I was so actually hyped about this whole Army thing... wtf was I on?  I mean yeah... So I was excited to go back to Korea, but damn reading over my old blogs almost made me vomit... sure as hell discusted me.

If you read this and for whatever reason you THINK you are going to join the Army please for the love of God... choose life.  The Army is such bullshit it never ceases to amaze me.  I keep seeing all these 10 second Army adds online too. "Army Snipers can shoot an object the size of a playing card from 500 meters away... Are you up for it?"

The Army is so fucking lame with their advertising... they are hard up as hell for Soldiers and they think that shit will get people?.. Well maybe... i recently discovered how uneducated and rediculously closed minded a large protion of America is so maybe some dumb asses will fall for that shit.  But then again looks who talkin... the bastards got me somehow.  That just makes me angry... However, before I type 8 fucking pages about how fucked the Army is, I'm gonna try and just stop now and move on.  Wooosssaaaahhhh Wooosssaaahhhhh.

Anyways... life, or lack there of.  Living in America officially blows... shit is too far away and retarded people seem to flock towards me and engage me in conversation as if testing my patience for stupidity.  So far I haven't quite snapped, but if anymore fucking idiots cross my path it's not going to be good. 

I recently realized I have a horrible complex.  I am in the Army, but I can't fucking stand Soldiers.  Everyday that I wake up I look at myself in the mirror in whatever uniform I am in for the occasion and I discust myself.  However I have discovered the root of this so called complex, which kind of helps me cope.  I don't feel that I am a good Soldier.  I believe I am a good person, just not a good Soldier.  I believe I have traits that would make me a good Soldier and leader, but still not a good Soldier.  Why??? Well, here is how I look at it.  For generations countries, religious groups, and random militia's have raged war, after war, after war.  And lack of Soldiers never seemed to be a problem.  Most everyone was content to fight for their favored country/organization/religion/cause.  That was their motivation.... their reason... their purpose, and thats why they could do whatever is was militarily they needed to do.  That is where I faulter.  I have no purpose... no reason.... no motivation.

The last 6 years or so I personally believe has been total bullshit.  This war is not only immoral... it's straight illegal and I can't support it.  This is only logical being that I am not a tyrant like the unforgiving leaders of America.  I'm not saying it's all of them... just enough to fuck shit up.  Anyways, every fucking day I have to wake up and put on a fake smile.  Everyone who knows me via military has no fucking clue who I am.  I'm so fucking sick of waking up and having to pretend to be someone I am not because if I don't Uncle Sam's huge fucking dick with put a permanent scar on my god damn record, but hey I see the logic in it.  If the military can use the fear of a dishonerable discharge to falsly motivate soldiers to do shit and ask no questions, then hey... Mission Accomplished.  But yeah... there is my life... unrated and uncut.

MOTHER FUCKER... and I even tried to stop earlier and I just couldn't do it... wow maybe I am joining the mass groups of retards in America because I totally actually did that on accident.  Oh well... I guess it adds some spice to my angry blabbering.

But... hold up.  I have to clear the air of some of the shit I just wrote.  I mentioned I have been having problems with "retarded Americans".  I understand how that word gets thrown around too often these days to describe unfavorable behavior instead of an actual disability.  I'm just talking about close minded assholes for the most part.  It actually has nothing to do with their intelligence level... thats just the word association I chose to jot down.  AND listen... I know not all soldiers are bad.  I personally know a lot of great ones.  I'm just saying I know a lot of really fucking shitty ones too... and they love to test me it seems. 

Alright hopefully that somewhat makes me not look like such an asshole, but oh well... thats how I feel... like I said... unrated and uncut.

AS for the rest of life.  I'm in Wahsington State now and though I bitch about it all the time it really isn't that bad.  I know some people from Korea who are here so that makes me happy :) and there is shit to do, just so damn far away from the shitty town of Tacoma where the Army decided to build a military instillation (god I am so biased... lol)  Anyways... The holidays are gonna suck because I don't get to go home (thanks again Uncle Sam you fucking prick) but hey there are worse things.  I think I'm going to go find an open bar on xmas and get hammered and just be a fucking bum... for some reason it seems appropriate and really doesn't even bother me at this point.  I've been angry for about 5 straight hours now and I wish I could figure out why.  It's like a combinations of 23242324343 different fucked up things in my life right now, but usually I can shake it.  BUUUTT, I'm kind of enjoying this emoness so we will see where it takes me next.

In closing I wanna throw in a happy note.  I miss and LOOOOOOOVVVVVVEEEE all my friends all over this huge ass world.... lol... that is all.  DON"T FORGET IT!

Hopefully I will have a more joyous post for next time.



Bye Everyone :D

hey everyone i'm back on xanga... got bored so yeah... i'm gonna go xanga crazy now... stop by and spread some love and i promise i will return the favor... peace everyone

i miss you all :D

 

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Hey everyone... long time no update and yes... VERY NEEDED.  I am really happy at the moment so i'm gonna try and hang on to that.   Work is gettin better.  I know the restaurant really well now so it's a piece of cake... hahaha and i get to quit soon so i fuck around a lot and have fun... if they fire me it would be like an accomplishment... hahaha

I got my dates for Basic   I leave January 2nd and then go to Maryland after dat for additional training to be a BROADCAST JOURNALIST... hehehe i'm so excited.  Well when i'm rolling around in mud cold as fuck i won't be, but for now... i'm excited  

I miss korea a lot.  Hopefully the army will send me back home.  If i don't make it to Korea right away it would be assumable that i'm in a corner somewhere crying... hahaha jk... well idk... we will see... hahah but yeah most likely i will get it, but it's not gauranteed so EVERYONE PRAY... please

Besides that i'm just countin down the days until everyone starts showin up at my doorstep this christmas... Zeth, Tim, and maybe Joe will be down here in San Antonio partien like the good ol days... so if u don't hear from us we probably got arrested... hehehe  

Well that bout does it.  I want everyone out there to know that i miss all of you and no matter how close we are or were i do still appreciate you.  I hope to see all your smiling faces soon... and if i do... free hugs... hahaha

Okay... out of here for reals... peace ppl and please... live life in the moment because when all is said and done no matter where u are in life... the memories are the only things that are forever.

bye... i love you all

 

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